Give us a break, please!!!

We went for radiation yesterday. Mom had 1mg of Ativan on board. We get there and they say, " the treatment plan is not completed and they aren't ready to begin radiation." I asked if we could see the Dr. because Mom's tumor has doubled in size from last week. When the Dr. saw the tumor she again stressed to us and especially my mom, how fast growing her cancer is and that it is vitally important that we get started with radiation. She was talking about that they may have to increase the length of weeks of radiation and even mentioned the "C" word. She isn't real impressed with the Erbitux and wants to talk to the oncologist about it. We were told in the beginning that the Erbitux was to enhance the effect of the radiation but last week when we saw the oncologist, he was impressed that the tumor had shrunk without radiation to it yet.

I had noticed on Sunday when I saw my mom that the tumor had grown significantly even from Friday. I was very upset by this because I don't want my mom to suffer anymore than she has already from that piece of crap tumor. Anyway, they are speeding up her treatment planning phase of the radiation phase, which you recall had to be redone because they had to modify her mask to accommodate her so she could tolerate it. They are trying to assure she gets a least two treatments this week. Tomorrow we meet with the Oncologist, she gets a Erbitux treatment, I think, and then she goes to the dentist so they can fit her for fluoride trays. Since they are radiating her neck, it might affect her saliva glands which can increase her chance of cavities which could increase her chance of needing an extraction which just can't happen once the bone in that area is radiated..... More tomorrow. Please pray for my sweet mom.

Not Quite

So, even with 1.5mg of Ativan on Board, my mother was still not able to tolerate the mask needed for her radiation. They cut the mouthpiece out, and she still couldn't do it. So, they cut the whole facial part out and now she just has to keep her chin up and bite on a plastic stick. They had to perform another CT scan yesterday with the modified mask because they have to be able to replicate the same areas that need to be radiated every time. So, Monday we start again. I kind of had to have a heart to heart with my mom about being able to follow through. I know better than anyone about anxiety and not wanting to do something. If I could drive to Paris instead of taking a plane, I'd of already gone. Anyway, she was trying to make all kinds of excuses not to have radiation. I told her I would not allow her to make a decision based on her fear. They are trying to cure her and I am really trying to get her to understand this but she's 86 and tired and I can see that this whole process is wearing her down. I'll a little worried because since her tongue won't be as much out of the way, she'll develop sores and loss of taste which will probably cause her to not want to eat.

I'm praying that Monday she'll do better and that each time will get a little easier. The whole treatment lasts no longer than 15 min. I have computer training next week so the boys are doing extra duty. Thank God, we've been able to be flexible with our jobs. And, I have to say that the radiation techs are all so kind to my mother and us. I feel like they are really looking after her.

NO WAY JOSE

This morning we went to the Oncologist for a follow up. My mom's labs looked good, weight loss, about four pounds, and the tumor seems to be already shrinking. She had her Erbitux treatment and they left out the Benadryl to try and eliminate some of the side effects that happened last week. She tolerated her treatment well and then off we went to get her first radiation treatment. Well, we walk into the treatment room, there on the table sits this mesh looking space mask. She asks"what's that for"? they tell her that this goes over her face while she's having radiation. I instantly see Panic in my mother's face. My mother is claustrophobic. Not only does this mask fit over over face, there a part of it that goes into her mouth to keep her tongue towards her palate. They start fitting it on her and I'm listening to her struggle. I walk out cause I'm crying and I tell one of the nurses that there's no way my poor mother is going to be able to tolerate this. Not two seconds after I walked out, the tech came and got me because she told them to take the freakin thing off of her face and that the whole thing was just Bull*&%. She told me there was no way she was doing this and to just forget the whole thing. Well, after she calmed down we talked to the doctor and tomorrow we are going to try again with lots of ativan on board. if that doesn't work, then they will have to make a whole other mask without the mouthpiece in it. The mouthpiece is to help keep the tongue out of the radiation beam so it can be spared from sores and alteration in taste buds. The mask is because she cannot move one millimeter. They even bolt the sucker down. I can't blame her for being freaked. Hopefully, tomorrow she'll be in la la land and it will be better.

Tired but good

My mom's been really tired and not motivated to do much, but she's far better then she was last Wednesday and Thursday. Today, she gets her labs drawn. They have to determine how the Erbitux is affecting her liver and also her magnesium levels. Tomorrow she sees the Oncologist at 9:00, Erbitux at 9:30 for 90min, and then to the radiation oncologist for the beginning of her radiation. Yesterday, I actually worked 8 full hours!!!, today the same. Tomorrow and Thursday, not so much. I'll keep you posted. Thanks for the prayers and well wishes. It means so much.

DARE I SAY IT?

Mom's much, much better today. She can walk a straight line, and actually hold a conversation. She's up doing her crossword puzzle and eating breakfast and she had a nice long hot shower.  yeah!!!  Thank God...

To be Expected?

I should of stayed with my mother last night.  She seemed okay after her treatment yesterday and was just tired.  So, I stayed until she went to bed and left.  This morning, first thing, I called and no answer.... tried again, no answer. A little fear sunk in and I was dressed and out the door in five minutes.  I got here and she was completely disoriented and just laying on her bed.  I felt so horrible.  She was feeling so sick and completely wiped out.  I called my brother, Mike, and he came in so I could run to my office and get a couple things done. She's running a low grade temp, which is  normal and also felt nauseous.  I gave her the anti nausea meds and it helped.  She's been sleeping on and off since then.  Obviously, she cannot be left alone and hopefully, this is just today from treatment yesterday.  She handled the treatment really well while it was being administered but I guess I should of known better but then again, this is uncharted territory for us all.  I hope tomorrow is better..

IT STARTS TOMORROW

Wednesday, is my mother's first treatment in the eight weeks she is scheduled to receive them. yesterday, we went for a "teaching" appointment at the Oncologists office. Basically this is to review all the potential side effects of the Erbitux injections she will be getting. Nausea, vomiting, rash on the face, mouth sores, diarrhea, constipation, fatigue....... just to name a few. I will pick up several medications for her today to counteract all of these potential demons. Most of everything they said went right over my mom's head. She's tired and told the nurse that she's just going in the direction that I point her. I'm hoping and praying that she tolerates this protocol without too many side effects.... After the appointment, I took her to get her new favorite drink from Starbucks. Grande, creme Carmel frappachino, with whipped creme.

Tomorrow's treatment is a four hour one. They have to administer the medication slow along with benadryl and a steroid to make sure she doesn't have a reaction. I'm going to stay with her and keep her company. We toured the "chemo" room. It was sad:(