NO WAY JOSE

This morning we went to the Oncologist for a follow up. My mom's labs looked good, weight loss, about four pounds, and the tumor seems to be already shrinking. She had her Erbitux treatment and they left out the Benadryl to try and eliminate some of the side effects that happened last week. She tolerated her treatment well and then off we went to get her first radiation treatment. Well, we walk into the treatment room, there on the table sits this mesh looking space mask. She asks"what's that for"? they tell her that this goes over her face while she's having radiation. I instantly see Panic in my mother's face. My mother is claustrophobic. Not only does this mask fit over over face, there a part of it that goes into her mouth to keep her tongue towards her palate. They start fitting it on her and I'm listening to her struggle. I walk out cause I'm crying and I tell one of the nurses that there's no way my poor mother is going to be able to tolerate this. Not two seconds after I walked out, the tech came and got me because she told them to take the freakin thing off of her face and that the whole thing was just Bull*&%. She told me there was no way she was doing this and to just forget the whole thing. Well, after she calmed down we talked to the doctor and tomorrow we are going to try again with lots of ativan on board. if that doesn't work, then they will have to make a whole other mask without the mouthpiece in it. The mouthpiece is to help keep the tongue out of the radiation beam so it can be spared from sores and alteration in taste buds. The mask is because she cannot move one millimeter. They even bolt the sucker down. I can't blame her for being freaked. Hopefully, tomorrow she'll be in la la land and it will be better.

Tired but good

My mom's been really tired and not motivated to do much, but she's far better then she was last Wednesday and Thursday. Today, she gets her labs drawn. They have to determine how the Erbitux is affecting her liver and also her magnesium levels. Tomorrow she sees the Oncologist at 9:00, Erbitux at 9:30 for 90min, and then to the radiation oncologist for the beginning of her radiation. Yesterday, I actually worked 8 full hours!!!, today the same. Tomorrow and Thursday, not so much. I'll keep you posted. Thanks for the prayers and well wishes. It means so much.

DARE I SAY IT?

Mom's much, much better today. She can walk a straight line, and actually hold a conversation. She's up doing her crossword puzzle and eating breakfast and she had a nice long hot shower.  yeah!!!  Thank God...

To be Expected?

I should of stayed with my mother last night.  She seemed okay after her treatment yesterday and was just tired.  So, I stayed until she went to bed and left.  This morning, first thing, I called and no answer.... tried again, no answer. A little fear sunk in and I was dressed and out the door in five minutes.  I got here and she was completely disoriented and just laying on her bed.  I felt so horrible.  She was feeling so sick and completely wiped out.  I called my brother, Mike, and he came in so I could run to my office and get a couple things done. She's running a low grade temp, which is  normal and also felt nauseous.  I gave her the anti nausea meds and it helped.  She's been sleeping on and off since then.  Obviously, she cannot be left alone and hopefully, this is just today from treatment yesterday.  She handled the treatment really well while it was being administered but I guess I should of known better but then again, this is uncharted territory for us all.  I hope tomorrow is better..

IT STARTS TOMORROW

Wednesday, is my mother's first treatment in the eight weeks she is scheduled to receive them. yesterday, we went for a "teaching" appointment at the Oncologists office. Basically this is to review all the potential side effects of the Erbitux injections she will be getting. Nausea, vomiting, rash on the face, mouth sores, diarrhea, constipation, fatigue....... just to name a few. I will pick up several medications for her today to counteract all of these potential demons. Most of everything they said went right over my mom's head. She's tired and told the nurse that she's just going in the direction that I point her. I'm hoping and praying that she tolerates this protocol without too many side effects.... After the appointment, I took her to get her new favorite drink from Starbucks. Grande, creme Carmel frappachino, with whipped creme.

Tomorrow's treatment is a four hour one. They have to administer the medication slow along with benadryl and a steroid to make sure she doesn't have a reaction. I'm going to stay with her and keep her company. We toured the "chemo" room. It was sad:(

What a year it has been this far

Well, 2010 has started out to be a trying year thus far. My mom fell on December 31st, and shattered all six of her front teeth. Then, as we were just closing Escrow on her new condo, she started having pain in her left shoulder, this around January 23rd. By the 25th, she was in excruciating pain. Mark and I took her to the ER, and after they gave her a shot, they examined the site and found a mass on her collarbone. The CT scan showed some irregular cells which could indicate cancer. Well, it's March 20th and my mother starts treatment this week for a squamous cell carcinoma of unknown primary. Which simply means that the very large tumor is not where the cancer started. They have poked and prodded her, run every scan known in medicine, and cannot find where it's coming from. So, basically they narrow it down to the best probability. They now feel like there's a 70% chance it came from a skin cancer. Her treatment will consist of a once of week intravenous medication called Erbitux, this is the drug that Martha Stewart went to jail for insider trading. She also has to have, once a day for six weeks, radiation therapy to the tumor, and surrounding area. My mother is less than thrilled with this whole process and because she doesn't feel so hot right now, she's kind of dreading it all. I just keep reminding her that this treatment is so she will be cured and even though it may be six weeks of hell, she'll feel better.

So, this is a very condensed version of what's been going on. My whole family has been on an emotional roller coaster, not knowing how bad her cancer is and not knowing from one day to the next if it could be cured, or if......

The one thing that has been great is we have definitely come together. We worked so hard to get her condo done for her and it took us all about a month and it turned out so cute. She loves it and we gather there every Wednesday to have dinner.

Needless to say, I haven't been working that much and my bosses have been completely understanding. I've been going in on weekends to catch up, and having one of the girls in my office work as my assistant so I don't get to far behind. Unfortunately, we had lots of changes going on at work, so It's been hard to not get stressed out about not being there. These next six weeks will be very challenging because I know if my sweet mommy is not feeling well or feeling weak, she's going to want me there. My brothers and children can help out but they can't help her shower or other things.... I'm happy to be there for her because she'd do it for me in a heartbeat.

Anyway, i'm going to update this regularly as sort of my diary. I've started my workout routine again, which I need so much and will start spin again next week. Thank God, I have a supportive husband, he has been so wonderful through all of this and really spearheaded the whole Condo project from finding it, to getting the remodel organized. I'm a lucky girl...